Chokehold

Been trying to gain weight and fight depression all at the same time. The moment I feel like I got the slightest advantage another form of manipulation depression kicks in. See I’ve never been the type to be vocal about what I’ve been fighting but the more I try to silence it the bigger the attacks get, the more difficult the battles seems. It’s a up hill battle trying to get a grip on it but I honestly feel like it has a grip on my throat suffocation. How does one get out of this state that has been growing for years. A silent unanswered growing problem that seems to take a lot of wins rather than loses